This hurts a lot to watch, but I really appreciate the conclusion she draws at the end about showing gratitude for positive impacts even if the experience isn’t great as a whole. A few times I have gotten thank-you emails after a semester that have remained extremely meaningful to me many years later. I wish I could let them know the impact it had, but I’m not going to hunt down old students. I would say don’t feel any need to send something if you don’t fully mean it though, platitudes after a student sees their grade are not the same. They’re not insulting but if it feels like a template the student could send to all their professors with a couple changes it just comes across as networking.

The “thank you for caring” note resonates with me a lot too. About a year ago after I started breaking down I had a lecture where I really didn’t have my shit together and it was embarrassing. I knew I was half-assing my prep for that day but I just needed to show up. I was kind of caught off-guard when three students stayed after, but it meant a lot to me that they phrased it as “are you okay” rather than as a complaint. I opened up more than I should, definitely more than the teacher in that video, I knew better but I was too broken at the time. I think support from an unexpected place was helpful. So many of the people I have come across in my life have been exceptionally kind to me, that’s really why I haven’t ended up like that woman.