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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlMACHETE
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    10 months ago

    I thought it was Steven Seagal.

    I only know 2 things about Steven Seagal.

    1. Steven Seagal is a Russian shill.

    2. One time Gene LeBell choked Steven out so hard, that Steven Seagal shit his pants.

    Those are the only 2 things I know, and need to know about Steven Seagal.




  • Same here. I played the season to unlock everything, but it wasn’t my favorite season. I wish they’d do more bug stuff like bug bosses or something.

    But, also I have everything unlocked and I’m 3 ruby? stars on all my chars. I still jump in for fun occasionally, and when a new season rolls out. I did a deep dive last night and an epic deep dive. We didn’t make it through the epic deep dive heh.







  • Most western RPGs work off of some type of D&D rules. This game does not. Instead of AC, spell resistance, and saving throws. Armor and trinkets give you physical damage HP, and magical damage HP. This is very different for people familiar with the genre.

    There is a steep difficulty curve just outside of the beginning area. When you are level 2 to about 4 you are often out numbered and out gunned by enemies of the same or one lvl higher. It’s a balancing issue that turns away a lot of new players.

    Gold is scarce. I’m pretty far in the game and gold is scarce. Also, gear is expensive. This means you are really at the mercy of the randomized loot situation from chests.

    These are just 3 issues I can think of off the top of my head. But, if you still don’t believe me or want more reasons just google “why is divinity original sin 2 so hard”. You’ll find a bunch of posts with a bunch of comments like “get gud”. You’ll also find a few helpful comments.



  • I have always liked sturdy women. You know a good hearty woman. I’m not a small person. I like a thicc woman.

    With that being said. I was friends with benefits with a chick in high school. One night we were riding around and she offhandedly says that she needs to lose weight. I, jokingly said “Well, you could always smoke crack”. The laugh and then silence that followed would be very telling.

    That night was the last I heard from her for about a year. I would call her occasionally and her mom would say she’s not here, or she’s gone with her cousin. Finally I give up and before I know it a year has gone by.

    One day my phone rings and I answer it. It’s homegirl! I ask how she’s been and where she’s been. She says she’s been ok, and in rehab. Apparently her and her cousin had been smoking crack. She asked if I knew where to get her some crack. I never liked uppers. So, naturally I had no clue where to get her some crack.

    She never said it was my joke suggestion that inspired her. But it’s too much of a coincidence. I’ve always carried a little guilt for that.


  • Man, I was a preteen when this game came out. This was the game that made me love RPGs. It’s also the game that every RPG had to live up to moving forward.

    It had everything. It was long, and girthy. That’s to say it was a lengthy game with a lot of content. It was veiny. Hehehe I’m just fucken with you now.

    But in all seriousness it had hidden characters. It had backstories for the characters that you had to revisit. It had enemies that were disgusting yet human. All the important characters were 3 dimensional.

    The game even had a quasi multiplayer mode!!!

    Get Fucked Breath of Fire.

    This game is a god damn masterpiece.



  • I put air tags on all my shit. I have an air tag on my wallet. I have an air tag on my keys. I even hid an air tag in my pc so that if it’s ever stolen I can hopefully track it down. I have an air tag on my tv remote.

    They have literally changed my life. Living with 3 other people. One of which is severely autistic and will pick up things and set them down under the sofa or some such nonsense. I spend a lot less time being angry. Air tags are the best thing that Apple ever invented.

    iPhone is ok, but I miss my HTC touch pro 2. Apple Watch is superfluous junk. Air pods pro? Pshhhhhh whatever! Air tags, they will change your fucking life man.



  • Mine goes as follows.

    Them: Hello I’m looking for…

    Me: Mmmmmmmmm fuck yeah god damn your dick smells so fucking hot.

    Them: Excuse me sir???

    Me: I said your dick smells fucking hot. You wanna meet up later and get tongue deep in each others ass holes.

    Them: :click:

    I don’t get many scam calls or bill collectors anymore. The trick is that you ONLY do it when they call you. In other words don’t call them and harass them. If it’s a legit company it might even be illegal for that company to make their employees call someone that sexually harasses their employees. Also if it’s a woman i usually describe the smell of the genitalia. Otherwise it’s the same.

    A lot of Indian dudes are homophobic as hell. To add to the awkwardness of the conversation I lower my voice to make it real deep. Then I say each word slowly and breathy. That way I know they hear me and each word kind of hangs there for a second.


  • I feel your comment so much. I grew up in Bessemer, Al. I currently live in Birmingham, Al. I always assumed that the mix of people I grew up around was representative of how it was everywhere in the US. That is until I got older.

    The rolling hills sounds like my home. The Appalachians come down into Georgia and then west and pretty much end at Birmingham. I live in the shadow of red mountain.

    I imagine that you and I had very similar experiences.