I’m sorry you’re going through that mate. Benadryl is extremely unpleasant to trip on for most people, and it will only make things worse. Would you consider talking with a hotline or warmline (consensual rescue - they won’t have you involuntarily hospitalised)?

It’s mostly adolescents who can’t get anything better that abuse it sadly. They’re desperate

Please don’t. That shit is hella addictive and leaves most users with permanent issues