“The cat is not allowed to have meth.”

Maybe he thought they meant seasoning, and it was what they put in the drink.

If the fetus is allowed to own a gun, it should count.

“Strap it to my new plane.”

“I love it!” -Frank Dreben

We’re 100% certain there was only one lobotomy?

Are you saying a raccoon from Ohio wouldn’t be expected to have a pipe?

Shut up and go make Dagwood a sandwich, Blondi.

Self dining only one year away.

I mean, sue him using his case against advertisers as a basis.

You gotta admit, though, that 11-year-old boy might make a good Secretary of Defense after this one.

It’s not like Hank thought of the hammocks, but you know he took credit for the work it got him.

at this point I’m just proud we did something that doesn’t appear to worsen global warming.

At least nine!

Also there could be a cat in the oven, or in America, a cat with a gun.

This doesn’t make him good, it’s just the point that trump is a bridge too far for him.

Dick’s upvoted for Harambe.

Lumber Liquidator liquidators.

…man, I hope they don’t go under.

Or, just thinking outside the box here… charge cities for actual nighttime.

Of course, he’s not a republican, he’s a conservative.