Me: I want to play games until I get fat

Konami: yo, there you go

Me: damn, that was a bad idea, I need to go work out in a gym

Konami: I’m way ahead of you

Scooping ice cream, eh? Gonna have sore muscles all over my body for a week

You’re paranoid, mate

Yea, I’m not a pedophile just because I look like that. I mean, I am a pedophile, but NOT because I look like that!

(For legal reasons, this is a joke.)