Reek

(played by Alfie Allen)

Lily’s song Alfie is about him.

because Boeing or why?

Google Messages app already falls back to SMS automatically if RCS fails. SMS is not going anywhere.

wow aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.

what does that have to do with deadnaming people?

I guess you’re the expert here since you Googled a condition & now you know everything there is to know about it, right?

let me break it down. over 12 years ago when I was diagnosed, among the better-known symptoms like mixing up numbers, “misremembering names” (especially those that start with the same letter/sound) was a frequently published symptom of dyscalculia (and dyslexia, FWIW):

fast forward to 2013, in the DSM-5 they changed the definition of dyslexia and dyscalculia, removed them as diagnoses and instead replaced them with a more general diagnosis: “Specific Learning Disorder”, which among other things now requires that a person is “unable to perform academically at a level appropriate to their intelligence and age.”

in my opinion, and this is just my non-professional opinion:

1. if I tell someone I have a “Specific Learning Disorder” they’ll generally have no idea what I’m talking about. it’s easier and feels more self-consistent to tell them the name of the condition I was diagnosed with, even if it’s outdated.

2. the new DSM-5 diagnosis doesn’t account for people like me who were able to excel academically despite difficulty with numbers and names. did I have to read numbers 10+ times to make sure I knew I had the right one? yes. do I still struggle immensely to do basic arithmetic in my head? absolutely. am I also a software engineer who sometimes has to work with numbers? yes. did I get straight A’s in all my math classes? yes. people with dyslexia and dyscalculia excel all the time by discovering and using their own coping mechanisms, so this diagnosis seems overly reductive to me.

again, I’m not a professional. is it possible that my symptoms which were previously attributed to dyscalculia are just a part of my ASD? sure. but I’m pretty sure if I said I have trouble remembering Elliot Page’s name because I’m autistic, people still wouldn’t know what I was talking about, and I’d have an even harder time explaining it. so there you go.

for real, I’m pro trans rights and I still sometimes accidentally deadname Elliot Page because I have dyscalculia. if you ban me for that aren’t you being ableist?

also yes context is very important.

if I say “when Caitlyn went by the name [X], and she used [Y] pronoun, [Z] thing happened to [Y]”, I assume I will still get banned for deadnaming even though I’m innocently adding clarity to a conversation.

to make things worse, if someone is trans and gender fluid, and I call them by a name or pronoun they used last time I knew about them, now I’ve committed a crime of which I had no knowledge.

this blanket condemnation of deadnaming is just dumb. it requires nuance.

yes I know Apple isn’t a Telecoms company but you need a SIM from a Telecoms company to use iMessage. RCS runs over the Internet too, yet you also need a SIM card for that. Also Telecoms companies aren’t designing message protocols anymore. I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.

what do you mean Telecoms companies aren’t allowed to add E2EE? there is no such regulation I’m aware of.

besides, how would Apple have been supporting E2EE in iMessage for so long if Telecoms companies weren’t allowed?

could be a motivation issue, but not a regulation issue.

I appreciate your honesty, I can relate b/c I’ve been there at points in my life too, including the weed. three things helped me kick/reduce all those habits:

1. stop expecting perfection from myself by giving myself lots of internal validation every day & replacing self-loathing thoughts with gratitude
2. break apart overwhelming tasks into stupidly small tasks like “write the first word of the first paragraph, then the next word, etc”
3. be my own parent & stop using weed, other substances and addictions like videogames to distract from the present by deciding to take short breaks (e.g. 1 day/1 week/1 month) & telling myself I’ll keep going if I feel good after

I can recommend a book called Don’t Believe Everything You Think, it’s a short & easy read that reminds you why it’s good to be in the present & that all the answers you need are already within you if you’re honest enough with yourself to ask & answer those questions. good luck!

🤣 you got me

“procrastination” can be seen as avoiding tasks, but IMO we need a different word to describe it for tasks you want to do (which eventually get done) and those you don’t (which may not).

seems to me capitalists favor using that word for the former case as an explanation of why people with ADHD take so long to do tasks; they want us to see mental and emotional pre-processing as “wasted time”

this was a helpful starter list thank you lmao! I’m usually a single-carryon dude myself, but this time I’m going camping so I have to bring a checked bag with stuff I never usually think about like a sleeping bag, sleeping pad, tent (which I put up last weekend to make sure I have all the parts & I’m not freaking out in the rain), eclipse glasses, etc

if someone tells me we’re leaving tomorrow I’m like nuh uh I’m gonna need that in writing and delivered at least 2 weeks in advance sir, otherwise I may perish b/c I’ll forget to bring anything to sustain life other than the clothes on my body

exactly 💯 and then when I realize I forgot the thing it’s like what was all the mental preparation for?