Reddeet
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 11 months ago

I go out of my way to not crap at work.

lemmy.world

message-square
39
fedilink
871

I go out of my way to not crap at work.

lemmy.world

𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.mlEnglish · 11 months ago
message-square
39
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • eeltech@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    52
    ·
    11 months ago

    You’re doing it wrong! Nothing better than getting paid to poop!

    https://www.jeffgeerling.com/sites/default/files/images/elmo-boss-makes-a-dollar.gif

    • materia@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      11 months ago

      Wait, what. Why is this gif hosted on Jeff Geerling’s site of all places?

      • eeltech@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        11 months ago

        What, you don’t think he poops too?

    • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      11 months ago

      That gif is when you are trying to get out a fat log after being constipated for a week.

    • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      You wanna be careful sharing that GIF.

      • psud@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        That guy pretends he was fired and sued for sharing that meme. He was neither. He was told off, got butt hurt and stopped going to work, got fired for not going to work, lied about being fired for the meme and got sued for the lie

    • PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      Boss makes a dollar. I make a dime.

      That’s why I poop on company time.

  • SPRUNT@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    The solution to cheap toilet paper

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    11 months ago

    Whenever I have to use thin TP i just use way more of it. So much for saving money, dipshits.

    • BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      11 months ago

      Fistfuls. Like wiping with a baseball. That’s obviously the intended purpose of cheap toilet paper.

      • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        11 months ago

        I don’t know why but the image of wiping with a baseball is hilarious to me.

  • capnminus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    bidet gang

    • nifty@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      11 months ago

      You’re downvoted but there are travel bidets

      • CapnAssHolo@lemmy.sdf.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        11 months ago

        Zamn even bidets are travelling and living their best life while I’m stuck at 9 to 5

        • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          11 months ago

          Travel is never a matter of money but of bidet.

  • LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    11 months ago

    That’s the wrong attitude. BYOTP just to crap on company’s time.

  • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    11 months ago

    So we are all just gonna pretend she’s not an alien, right?

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      She’s the most beautiful woman in the world is who she is. Alien? Fine by me!

      • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        11 months ago

        Oh I didn’t say she isn’t beautiful. She’s a beautiful alien.

        • shalafi@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          11 months ago

          We are solidly on the same page.

    • pipe01@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      11 months ago

      If that’s how aliens look like I’d let them use my body for experiments

  • BoofStroke@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    11 months ago

    I just put a toilet in my camper van. My own place to poop no matter where I am!

    • variants@possumpat.io
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      11 months ago

      Do the turds fall straight to the highway as you’re driving around?

      • Minarble@aussie.zone
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        11 months ago

        That would be gross. He uses a vacuum ejection system to shoot them 100 metres into the air and outside the environment.

        • SnowmenMelt@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          11 months ago

          Into another environment?

          • nifty@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            11 months ago

            Into space, till it comes back down as a turd meteor ☄️

            • CapnAssHolo@lemmy.sdf.org
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              11 months ago

              No worries we got Planet Express on the case

              • olicvb@lemmy.ca
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                11 months ago

                Someone tell the professor to double check his countdown timer

    • Num10ck@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      which type did you choose?

  • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    11 months ago

    Same.

    I actually keep a small amount of TP in my briefcase for when it has to happen.

    • variants@possumpat.io
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      11 months ago

      Man that’s such a good idea, I need to invest in a bathroom briefcase, with a built in cyberdeck and subwoofer

      • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        11 months ago

        LOL

        Sounds awesome.

    • Num10ck@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      11 months ago

      fannypacks

  • ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    11 months ago

    This is honestly one of the benefits of WFH, no need for 1 ply, I can have 2 ply or maybe even 3 ply if I’m feeling fancy.

  • Thteven@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    11 months ago

    Best piece of ass I ever got

  • Hikermick@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    11 months ago

    It’s like trying to wipe my ass with a CVS receipt. That’s why I never leave home without my supply of 2 ply

  • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    The things I would do to your finger…

  • squid_slime@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • joel@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    11 months ago

    idgi, who is that?

    • dubyakay@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      11 months ago

      The point where is that the dress represents the TP and Anya Taylor-Joy represents their finger.

Memes@lemmy.ml

memes@lemmy.ml

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !memes@lemmy.ml

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 939 users / day
  • 3.11K users / week
  • 10.8K users / month
  • 22.2K users / 6 months
  • 2 local subscribers
  • 50.2K subscribers
  • 10.6K Posts
  • 125K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • ghost_laptop@lemmy.ml
  • sexy_peach@feddit.de
  • Cyclohexane@lemmy.ml
  • Arthur Besse@lemmy.ml
  • BE: 0.19.8
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org