Reddeet
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
111000@reddthat.comM to Idiots of Marketplace@reddthat.com · 2 years ago

Signed by Jesus himself

reddthat.com

message-square
32
link
fedilink
318

Signed by Jesus himself

reddthat.com

111000@reddthat.comM to Idiots of Marketplace@reddthat.com · 2 years ago
message-square
32
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • MrJameGumb@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    72
    ·
    2 years ago

    I like the idea that the best advice Jesus could give is “keep on truckin” lol

    • kautau@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      2 years ago

      Sometimes Jesus takes the wheel and sometimes he hands it back to you so you don’t run your truck off the road

      • CM400@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        I used to sign bibles in hotel rooms with that exact phrase. This one is definitely not one of mine, though.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 years ago

      That’s a good advice, but my favorite is “love thy neighbor”.

  • xantoxis@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    2 years ago

    Shit yeah, let’s go get that bitch authenticated. Worth it just to see wtf they do for that part

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      2 years ago

      Authenticator: This does indeed appear to have been signed by Jesus Gonzalez, who works at Walmart with the seller.

  • suodrazah@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 years ago

    Ah yes, let me sign this book about my future.

    Keep on truckin’. 100% legit.

    • DarkThoughts@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 years ago

      In modern English, using the Latin alphabet.

      • nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        With a ballpoint pen

      • threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        2 years ago

        THE LATIN ALPHABET VVAS AROVND AT THE TIME. VVHETHER IESVS KNEVV ABOVT IT IS A DIFFERENT MATTER, THOVGH HE DID HAVE SOME RVN-INS VVITH THE ROMAN EMPIRE, SO MAYBE?

        Modern English and trucks though, definitely not.

        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 years ago

          He was executed by the Romans. He definitely knew of the Romans.

        • DarkThoughts@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 years ago

          Technically yes, but if he knew how to write, which is already a highly questionable thing, then it would likely not be in Latin.

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            2 years ago

            He spoke Aramaic, but he was Jewish and Jewish people learn Hebrew reading and writing. He was well versed in scripture, so he probably did know how to read. The Bible talks about him spending a lot of time at the temple as a child, where he likely learned to read and write.

            • DarkThoughts@kbin.social
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              2 years ago

              The bible also says he performed a bunch of magic tricks, as well as a bunch of other nonsense.

  • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 years ago

    Who is this Jesus, he like a celebrity in Mexico or something?

    • Teon@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      2 years ago

      Celebrity? No, he owns a bookstore in Oklahoma. Ask for Jesus Ramirez to get signed copies.

    • Pons_Aelius@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 years ago

      I think he’s a MLB player from Puerto Rico.

  • theodewere@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    2 years ago

    wtf no Western Union, does this guy even know how the black market signed Jesus bible market works?

    • oo1@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 years ago

      Maybe they rely on temple-based financial intermediaries or something?

  • Cosmicomical@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    2 years ago

    It’s also addressed at john wick

  • Thief_of_Crows@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    How exactly does one authenticate that Jesus actually signed it? Also he definitely didn’t, it wasn’t written until 400 ad or later

  • pm_me_ur_thoughts@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    2 years ago

    This post cannot be more American

  • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    2 years ago

    Everyone seems to be assuming they meant Jesus Christ, but it’s much more likely an actual modern person called Jesus signed it. (If an actual modern person not called Jesus didn’t sign it)

  • Corvidia @lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    2 years ago

    They must have the 3 AD version of the Bible. :P

  • Fat Tony@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Could Jesus even write?

    • zeze@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      2 years ago

      deleted by creator

      • urquell@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        2 years ago

        Probably?

        • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          2 years ago

          Anything is possible in Jesus

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          2 years ago

          Theoretically he could’ve invented the letter J and everyone forgotten about it for a few iterations of Latin

          • RGB3x3@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            2 years ago

            Everyone called him Esus until he got sloshed one night and was like, “Jesus, I’m drunk as hell.”

            Then people thought that was his name.

    • MBZzZzZzZz@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 years ago

      Well, trucking is capitalized. So, I guess no.

    • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 years ago

      Doubtful. Wasn’t great with math, either.

      • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 years ago

        Kept dividing by two and getting double, smh.

Idiots of Marketplace@reddthat.com

idiotsoffbmarketplace@reddthat.com

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !idiotsoffbmarketplace@reddthat.com

For the delusional, idiotic, weird or funny online marketplace posts.

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1 user / day
  • 1 user / week
  • 1 user / month
  • 2 users / 6 months
  • 2 local subscribers
  • 672 subscribers
  • 29 Posts
  • 253 Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • 111000@reddthat.com
  • 01010101011@reddthat.com
  • BE: 0.19.12
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org