That pic made me laugh way too hard
“I fear not the wizard who has practiced 10,000 spells once, but I fear the wizard who has practiced one spell 10,000 times.”
Actually Harry also used Expecto Patronum alot (aka, the deus ex machina spell that can do anything and give you a blowjob at the same time)
So he had 2 go to spells.
Expecto* Patronum
Combined with a BJ, erecto patronum works better.
Considering “expecto patronum” it’s jkr pseudolatin for “dad’s coming”…
Fixed. Thanks
Obligatory JK Rowling is a bad person. Don’t support her or the Harry Potter series.
I always like to include the addendum that she’s also a bad writer. It’s great when people are excited to read, but success is not an indicator of quality.
and as always, if people do enjoy the stories, get the books or movies second hand. don’t let her earn a cent from it
There’s always the seven seas, it’s always morally correct
What are the ù seas but a huge library ?
I tried reading them as a kid and thought they were shit then. I realise now the biggest problems I had with it were the total absence of brick jokes (or whatever the literary equivalent is), the utter refusal to engage in foreshadowing, and the lack of character development.
Harry Potter was the best person but everyone else was a dick. “Gosh I wish something fun would happen” said Harry. Then Magic Headteacher turned up and it turns out that Harry is famous and rich and amazing! “Come and learn to be wizard and a celebrity” said Haggis, “you are amazing and have no choice”. And he did. And his stepbrother was fat. Then Harry learned to play Quitit. Albino McVillain said “I’ve been playing my who life. You’ll never be as good as me”. And Albino was correct, Harry could only win if he was given a broomstick called a Plonko 9000. Then, Harry got a mystery package. It was a Plonko 9000 and he won. “I am a wizard!” whispered Harry, “but I will still share my chocolates because he is a good person”. And he was. “Special people are born special and that’s why they’re special,” said everyone.
Hands down the best summary of the books
Then he banged his best friend’s sister.
Which is honestly pretty standard for the real world. Limited social circles and hot times blended well for millennia, why not continue the tradition at this point if both parties are willing? That’s probably the most accurate character portrayal rowling ever made.
Kid’s parents get murdered by hitler and he ends up with his north korean foster parents
This guy completely misses all the characterization
Completely misses on maliciously skips the entire 0lot revolving around sirius black
Completely misses that the point is that its your choices that define you, not the circumstances of your birth
My general complaint is that there really isn’t any nuance to any of the characters in the books. If you’re thinking of complexity, you’re probably thinking about the performances created by various excellent actors in the movies.
Also, none of the twists are executed well, as they are either deus ex rectum or they are telegraphed to the point where you don’t even realize they were supposed to be twists.
There’s no internal consistency within or between books. Macguffins come and go to serve the story, and every story is just repackaged public domain mythology.
Actually, the fan theory that all of it is the delusion of a mistreated orphan boy does tie several things together. The entire arc reads like the fantasies of a sad, lonely kid playing with a stick in his room by himself.
I count the lack of brick jokes and foreshadowing as a plus in any book. Also, it is a series of young adult books, you can’t read too much into it. Rowling may be a shit person, but the books are the books.
brick jokes
Huh, now I know what to call that kind of joke. My DnD group love them.
“Harry Potter isn’t as good as you thought when you read it in grade school. Hottest take”
Hbomberguy
She’s not a bad writer. She’s slightly above average.
Before she was outed, her pseudonym Robert Galbraith had sold 8500 English language copies across all formats (hardback, eBook, library and audiobook) and received two offers from television production companies.
For a “first time” author those are reasonable numbers.
She’s a terrible writer. She has no original or clever ideas, her imagery is boring and vague, and her characters are one dimensional at most. The Robert Galbraith book that I read was really bad, too, and the television offer came after she revealed that it was hers. Fucking Cormoran Strike? What the fuck kind of hacky bullshit name is that? She’s a dipshit, which is nothing compared to the fact that she’s a hateful bigot.
I’ve not read any Robert Galbraith books. I was just giving an objective measurement.
People also say Dan Brown is a bad writer and he sells millions of books
Statistically, the most popular restaurant in America is Wendy’s (excluding dessert and donut shops). Wendy’s is pretty good for fast food, but it’s objectively not high quality food. That’s not to say people shouldn’t enjoy it, but if you’re learning to be a chef, you’re probably not aspiring to mass produce baconators.
I’ve read two Dan Brown books (Angels and Demons and DaVinci Code). I’ve read 8 Rowling books.
My criticism of Dan Brown would be that he wrote one book and then wrote it again. It’s not great literature, but it’s easy to read and doesn’t strain the mind with complexity. I understand that he’s written four more novels, but I haven’t read them. I have heard people say that it’s the same formula, and if you enjoy it, there’s no judgement here. Reading should be fun and exactly as challenging as you want it to be.
Dan Brown also made absurd amounts of money. Do you know what he thinks about trans rights? No, you don’t, because he doesn’t use his position of relative privilege to be a shitbag to minorities. Maybe he’s a bigot, but I wouldn’t assume that of anyone without evidence. Dan Brown created a series of popular books and then fucked off to cheat on his wife. That’s all we know about him.
Rowling, by contrast, is a garbage human being. She’s actively awful, and goes out of her way to stir shit up and make life miserable for people she doesn’t know and will never meet. She is a bigot, and isn’t shy about spreading hateful propaganda or punching down. Being a bad writer is the very least of her flaws, but it is among her flaws. When people compare her to other artists who have created masterpieces but had “problematic” personal lives, the comparison is distorted by both the lack of quality to her art and the magnitude of her shittiness as a human. Even if you can separate the art from the artist, it’s like picking the solid shit nuggets from a massive steaming pile of diarrhea.
People are very bad writers on average. Rowling being slightly above average doesn’t make her good.
eh, they’re not great, but not the worst thing ever. ive seen worse debut novels (id argue that the divergent series is worse, though i enjoy it far too much lmao). the series is definitely ruined because of rowling’s awfulness.
I never read Divergent, but I’m sure there are worse books. And I enjoy plenty of books that aren’t well written. I enjoyed reading the Harry Potter series, the same way I enjoy a fast food burger and milkshake. It always bugged me that everyone kept praising Rowling for what an amazing writer she was, but I never cared to criticize her because kids were reading and she seemed to be a genuinely decent person.
Now we know she’s a hateful bigot, and her shitty writing is providing the funding for her to attempt to oppress people and generally be horrible. So no reason to keep pretending she’s not a hack writer.
Do make plenty of memes pointing out the myriad plotholes and the nonsensical developments/elements! I hear she just LLLOVES that;) (the only sarcasm here is “LLLOVES”).
There was two times, he used proper curses:
In book 5 he tries to use Crucio to torture Beatrix Lestrange, but she shows him and tortures him instead, as a little boy doesnt know how to torture.
In book 6 he used Sectumsempra on Malfoy without knowing what it is and seemingly completely oblivious to the fact that most spells are just latin word. Subsequently Malfoy almost dies of bloodloss, everyone is chocked how Harry is using dark arts all of a sudden, but Dumbledore bails him out as always.Book seven, he uses imperius curse on some random goblin.
(Possibly just film? Haven’t reread in many a year)
He also uses crucio in book 7, when one of the carrows spits on mcgonnagal, iirc
Nah that’s in the books too
Doesn’t that spell even break the rules of the setting? What I’m meaning is that with basically all other spells, just saying the words isn’t enough, there’s a mental element to it, which is related to what the spell is supposed to do. So, casting a spell without knowing what it does should be impossible.
I love Harry Potter but facing the facts it is very badly crafted and full of inconsistencies like this.
Obligatory: JKR turned out to be a horrible person and dies not deserve any of our money or attention.
I mean, we should really be asking why they didnt just take latin as one of their classes
No he found the spell that was cracked and just spammed it. Why wouldn’t you it’s the best spell. Insta stunlock, no counter. He did the meta build
Elden Ring Sorcerers once they learn Ranni’s Dark Moon
Kid named Night Comet:
Bingo! Double ‘nothing but a walking stick’ carrier.
Trying to apply logic to JKR’s writing leads to madness.
There’s a good fanfic series that tries to apply science to the HP universe. I made it like 50 pages into the 300+ page book which is longer than I’d usually read a fanfic for.
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? I think it clocks in at like half the length of the entire original series.
Oh great the foundational work of the rationalist community. Enjoy 650 000 words of Eliezer Yudkowsky’ preaching and his self-insert smartly destroying straw-man after straw-man while everybody claps.
Eh, did you finish it? That’s certainly how it starts, but that’s not really where it winds up.
I am sure it gets really good after 400 000 words more. However, I would much rather spend my time reading something other than the writings of a guy who doesn’t hold a degree of any sort, didn’t even finish high-school, but claims to be an expert in all the topics he ignorantly speculates about.
At least he’s tried to make critical thinking techniques more well known and accessible. That’s more interesting to me than, I dunno, some linguistics PhD’s fantasy slop.
It was an enjoyable read, and your strawman characterization isn’t really accurate at all, except when lampooning one of Rowling’s poorly written characters. Most of the book was Harry facing the consequences of smugly oversimplifying conflicts.
“The most ethical thing you can do is be unethical. QED. Now buy my book using this affiliate link.”
Ironic, you’re describing a strawman version of it. The writing in the beginning might have sine resemblance to it, but if becomes something very different.
Yeah that’s the one - thanks!
There’s a pretty decent audiobook in YouTube if you’re into that
good
You and I have very different ideas of what the word ‘good’ means, lol. The first, like, two chapters were fine as lampooning the poorly thought out logic of rowling’s world, but by chapter 8 or so it just was the same thing over and over again: mary sue thinker boy immediately noticing the giant flaws of the main author and having already rationalized the perfect exploit in a split second.
If it really became good later, well, first impressions matter and it had a pretty bad one.
I also say in the next sentence I only made it 50 pages in. Not really a fanfic person so hard to judge the quality of it (my prejudice would be that most of it is shite).
The fanfic that tried to apply logic to JKR’s writing lead to an actual, real life murder.
O.o wait what.
You mean the one by the AI wackjob/rationality cultist?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality
Please explain
Fake: Magic. Gay: Also magic.
✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨
Stop, it’s too fabulous
Does this imply the ultra rare holographic clussy?
It happens three times, if we count the one when he was 1 year old
So they used a charm instead of a spell?
Also how gilderoy lockheart is defeated
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