One of the ideas I had years ago was to get an uncut puck of lab diamond, (at the time this was ~$1500 from one place, probably cheaper now) find a lapidary and get them to cut out a literal diamond ring, a ring made entirely of solid diamond, and then my spouse could say ‘That’s not a diamond ring. This is a diamond ring.’ in a cheesy Aussie accent.
White sapphire is even cheaper than moissanite and most people don’t know any better. It’s a little less durable than diamond but looks a lot like a natural diamond. My wife cared more about the look than the actual pricetag, so I got what looks like thousands of dollars worth of ring for less than 10% of that. She’s clumsy, so if she bumps into something and the stone pops out and gets lost, no big deal.
Discuss with your partner. Do not try to trick them by getting them a diamond alternative and then telling them it’s a diamond. A reasonable partner (imo) would rather put some of that money towards the wedding and/or marriage itself rather than into a ring. Get the wedding menu you really want or put it towards a house down payment or new furniture or something.
So don’t buy one. My girlfriend’s will be getting one of those rings made of tungsten. Have you seen them they look amazing. It’s simultaneously looks like something some elvish jewellery merchant made while at the same time looking like it made also activate the halo rings.
A diamond is just shiny.
Of course it’s important to discuss these things with your partner in advance. Whether or not they would be happy with a non-diamond ring depends very much on the person. But it might be worth advocating for them because they look really nice and they are quite expensive but they’re honestly more interesting than the diamond and ethically sourced. There’s no such thing as blood tungsten.
looks like something some elvish jewellery merchant made
Worked at a jewelers for a while years ago. If that’s the vibe you’re going for I’d suggest a moss agate:
If your finger swells up inside a tungsten ring, EMT’s cannot cut through it with their normal tools. They have to use a high speed grinding tool. You or your loved one will not enjoy this procedure.
Don’t get tungsten rings.
I wear a tungsten band. Always have to take it off before the gym or manual labor. I was told “in an emergency they can’t cut the ring so they may have to cut the finger”. It’s cool though, I barely use that one and I have like 9 others.
Dang a lot of diamond haters in the comments! I would never buy a mined diamond for the ethical concerns but I think lab grown diamonds are worth the price. Moissanite is really pretty but it does throw more colors which may not be to everyone’s taste. Diamonds have a really clean white sparkle. And the price difference between the two is not as big as it used to be apparently.
Check with your partner and see what kind of ring they want for their engagement.
I went to the jewelry store with my partner and shopped for her engagement ring. Ended up doing a custom piece with a rose-gold band and a couple of blue topaz gems. She wanted a ring that would fit comfortably under exam gloves (she worked in a lab at the time). She’s much happier with it than a big heavy pointy rock, and it was way cheaper (like 450 for the whole ring).
On that note, I find diamonds to be the most boring gemstone. Any of the ones with colour are far more interesting to me, I don’t get why anyone would want to pay more for diamonds (outside of their industrial purposes) even if they were actually rarer.
I’m going the custom route as well I just think if you give them something custom it’s so much more meaningful than just going and buying something that was merely expensive.
Also with a really expensive diamond ring you never want to wear it because you always worried it’s going to get stolen.
The obvious answer is to buy a large synthetic one. It’s still real.
Nah, get a moissanite, it is more brilliant, and because it is used as high voltage SiCfets it is way cheaper.
Yeah sure, I’ll consider that if and when monogamy ever becomes any sort of option for me.
But disregarding me, personally, you can see quite how there’s a bit of manipulation going on if you’re pretending that the visual is “real”, right?
There is one type of natural diamond that doesn’t lose its value. Those are mine cut diamonds. They haven’t cut them at the mines since before the cartels took over. I found this out one day, because my GF would wear her late grandmother’s wedding and engagement bands. We got curious one day, and wandered into the fancy jewelry story in the mall. I said to the guy, “I know you can’t give us an official appraisal, but could you take a look and give us a ballpark.” He slipped the loupe on and took a look. Immediately he said something like, “Oh, wow! Haven’t seen one of these before.” He explained that all 20 of the ¼ carat diamonds and the large 2 carat diamond were all mine cut, so the engagement band could have fetched $100,000 and the wedding band was worth about $250,0000 in 2000 dollars.
Needless to say, she stopped wearing it frequently after she found out.
Got my wife a Moissanite ring, it’s even shinyer than diamonds and way cheaper, i love being with a practical woman <3
Moissanite gang rise up
Not doubting what you’re saying (because I’ve heard it many times already) but that picture looks misleading because of the different light hitting each stone. These marketing tricks are so obvious that at this point they can even make the truth look like a lie.
The rainbow light in the graphic looks cheesy, but that is what the visual difference between the two rocks looks like
Mine is moissy too, I picked it out, would have been pissed if my now husband wasted a car’s worth of money to get the equivalent diamond, and wanted a solitaire, and I like this stone better.
No it doesn’t get scratched up, as I am not scratching at it with a diamond. It’s very hard.
Yea sure man, but why is your comparison a rainbow being shat on the supposedly superior stone while the other gets a dull monotone?
Isn’t it much softer too? Ie, it’ll be all scratched to hell by day to day wear?
Nah Moissanite is still one of the hardest materials on earth at 9.5 on the mohs scale. Ain’t shit gonna scratch that
Ah nice good to know.
Diamonds are really hard but there’s other things that are pretty much up there. Unless you’re planning on repeatedly punching sharpened graphite spikes with no gloves on wear isn’t really a problem.
You might be thinking of cubic zirconium, which is another replacement for diamond. That one is softer, but my understanding is that it’s still quite difficult to scratch
If it loses 50-80% of the value as soon as it’s used, might as well get a used one if you must have a natural diamond. This also applies to cars and plenty of other things. Let someone with more money than you take the hit.
Pretty sure a used engagement ring is worse than lab grown in the eyes of the unwashed masses.
Used means cursed, it failed once and will fail again. As if the mined materials have any effect in a relationship.
Now you just tell people that it was stolen from a murder victim. But it’s alright because they had a really long life together before that happened. Then it’s okay.
Lab grown emeralds are a couple hundred bucks and are way prettier than diamonds.
My wife has a Tanzanite engagement ring and loves talking about it
IMO it’s kind of romantic Tanzanite only comes from one single place.
Moissanite is an excellent diamond alternative if you want a clear stone. Cheaper, just as resilient, and sparkly as fuck.
Yup, it’s even what they use in their displays because they sparkle more than a diamond.
No I’m pretty sure that’s just so if there’s a robbery they aren’t stealing the good stuff.
My wife’s engagement ring is an emerald, I don’t think it was lab grown but it was way cheaper then a diamond and looks easy better then a piece of “glass”
My friend works with lab grown crystals and there re ones like lutetium aluminium garnet doped with cerium (LuAG:Ce) and similar which look awesome
I wonder if there’s anyone interested creating lab diamonds that have imperfections that essentially become indistinguishable from the mined ones. There wouldn’t be any money in it, but they could theoretically crash the blood diamond market.
Its already happened, its why big diamond cartels etch symbols into diamonds. They literally can’t tell the difference anymore.
Its not super common for them to do that as its at least unethical and illegal in some places. Plus unless your literally trying to counterfeit, why would you want a flawed diamond?
I just looked them up, they’re almost like kryptonite, or TV Uranium. That’s so cool
I buy my wife jewelry with artificial diamonds, not because she wants it, but because I love to see her wearing it. She calls me a magpie for good reason.
Ooh sparkly things!
Rings are socially relevant demarcations of sexual availability. Diamonds are just shiny rocks. Frankly, rings with any stones in them piss me off. They catch on your clothes and rip your favorite fucking sweater, and it’s laundry day so you can’t even grab something else because your other clothes are soaked in vomit because projectile vomiting all over a crowd is the most reasonable course of action when you’re a dumb asshole dicking around on a balcony on new years, apparently.
Oddly specific ending
Well this reply certainly took a turn! Especially since NYE was 9+ months ago. Woman have had sex that night, and given birth since then. And you still haven’t done laundry yet???
Dude.
Don’t tell me how to live my life.
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You can have well made rings with stones that don’t catch on fabrics
Source: I make rings
Wife and I decided on moissanite. It’s big, extra sparkly, and was at the time 1/10 the price a similar diamond would be. Almost as hard, too - won’t get scratched except by another moissanite or a diamond.
Eh it’s now about 1/3 the price. Lab diamonds are getting cheap. Still a solid option though.
Ah, I haven’t kept up, I edited my post a little. Thanks!
This is what I always say. When people want diamonds they either want them because they’re pretty or expensive. If you want expensive then buy a gold bullion, if you want pretty buy a moissanite, for both, buy both.
I got engagement with moissanite for my now-wife. She says it is too big and firery-sparkly. Costed me almost nothing compared to a micro-sized diamond on a silver ring I’d get at a major jeweler.
Never bought her a diamond
Never even bought a ring
Never even got married with a giant ceremony or big event
Been together for over 30 years, bought property and all kinds of things, traveled to over 30 countries. Still not married.
¯_(ツ)_/¯
Same philosophy, but we did get married after we realized the legal protections and tax benefits were worth it. We just saw too much opportunity for our very dissimilar families to pull some nonsense if someone became ill or incapacitated.
We snuck into a park (that requires reservations for ceremonies) with some friends and that was that.
The rings are simple and inexpensive, and also rarely worn. We know what we’re about.Congratulations … we get along with each others families very well now and there’s no worries about anyone pulling anything on us (although there is always a chance that may change) … but at the same time, everyone is now so freakin old that it almost doesn’t matter to anyone any more. We are seriously thinking of getting officially married, simply for the fact that this is the only way to deal with medical rights issues for spouses and partners.
Yeah. Both of us depart from our families, and didn’t want to be in a position where we could have a parent or sibling try to “pull rank” about some medical decision, or have to worry about assets.
- got married at city hall for like $20
- got him a synthetic diamond ring for $300 (looks great, large diamond with lots of small decorative diamonds, easily looks 10x or even 100x the price we paid)
- spent all of the money we would have spent on wedding and ring on a long vacation
Congratulations
Thank you. This was in like 2020 though so it has been a while :D
Congratulations on 5 years then … no better way to show you love someone than to stick with them for that long.
Thank you!
We got married because otherwise her parents would get too annoying when we moved in together. We picked out rings without stones together and had six people present at the wedding.
Congratulations … best kind of wedding in my opinion
Same boat.
At the end of the day, marriage is a government contract.
Why the fuck would I want the government involved in my relationship?
Because the government is involved in all sorts of other things, including, for example, who’s allowed to make decisions for someone when they’re sick or dying and unable to make decisions for themselves.
And if you want to make those decisions for your partner you need to have some kind of government involvement in your relationship, either a legal marriage or some other waiver / power of attorney / whatever.
I’ve heard stories from elder gays about the United States before gay marriage was legal. Back when someone who’d been with their partner for decades couldn’t even visit them in the hospital when they were dying, because they weren’t legally the next of kin. When a young gay man could be in the hospital with AIDS and their estranged, anti-gay parents could swoop in, deny medical care, pull the plug, and take his body away from his partner and community to cremate him and flush the ashes, and because those parents were the young man’s next of kin no one could do anything to stop them.
Not to mention finances, inheritance, taxes, power of attorney, all the messy government stuff that becomes much simpler when you have a legal marriage that automatically provides it.
I think of what could happen if my partner was in the hospital and their parents were their next of kin and I’m very happy for our legal marriage.
What you described is exactly why Equal Marriage mattered so much. Thank you for highlighting that. I think, now, there are ways to designate someone in that role (besides marriage)? I’m not 100% sure of that. If not, I’d like to see that done.
For the original topic, I’m very much of the view that love should not be tied to consumerism of any type. If I were to get married, it would certainly be a courthouse wedding, with no rings or any of that; purely for those legal benefits.
Congratulations
In Canada, once you live with a commonlaw partner for a given number of years (I think its two or more years?) … the law basically identifies you as a married couple in many ways. I think the only things left over is medical rights, do no resuscitate and right to die issues after that.
Didn’t buy her a diamond or a ring, but I did buy a marriage certificate and signed it at the location of our first date. We’re pretty happy with it
Congratulations
Beautiful … you don’t need a public ceremony to display how much you love someone
“still haven’t made my mind up” aaa relationship 😭🥀💀
Sounds to me like they’ve made up their minds a long time ago and have proven their love for one another for over 30 years. I don’t think there exists a thing that could prove it better.
It was like that for a year or two … then it turned into 30 … we wondered for a long time … but after a while, you both realize, I’m never finding someone like this again in this lifetime.
Why not just get married then?
Guess they have nothing to prove to each other, they don’t need a piece of paper or someone else to proclaim they are together forever, they already know that.
Damn, one of these without a “fake and gay” explanation, and I’m too tired to think of a good one. I’ve never gotten to be the fake and gay guy, and I’m missing my chance D:
But anyway, as others have said, lab grown, vintage, there are other options.
But has anyone considered a rock that doesn’t just look like glass? There are so many cool rocks out there, people! I’d literally rather have a piece of quartz that my SO and I found together turned into a ring than I would have a piece of a much fancier/“valuable” stone that I have no attachment to.
When my parents got married, they had gone gem mining at one of those places with the troughs of dirt, and you pan it yourself. They found some rubies, and had wedding rings made from those. How fucking cool is that? Way cooler than a thing you have no connection to, I think.
Fake: anon has a gf
Gay: anon doesn’t want to buy an engagement ring for his fake gf
Fake: anon uses 4chan but refers to himself as a normie
Gay: getting himself blackpilled on het culture
Diamonds don’t look like glass.
Other than that you are correct about everything.
I mean, I was being hyperbolic, but they’re just… Boring to me. I know a lot of people love them, but to me they just look like fancy glass.
My wife and I got alexandrite+opal because holy shit those are two really pretty rocks, diamonds belong on drill bits
That’s so cool!
Thank you!!
