Cleavage looks like a bum, so the age old questions answer is…
Ass.
Or both.
That is true imo. Don’t want an evil woman with big tiddies as a gf
Ok but what if evil not as in the racist cat-kicker way but as in hot DC wizard of darkness way?
There is a reason “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is a thing, though.
I legitimately love this stupid analogy.
Works for penises too.
A penis made of pennies
Does it work for ass pennies?
Just count them before you put them in so you are sure you get them all out
Now this is life advice!
My penis is made of rai stones. You can look but don’t touch.
The best tits are the ones someone decides to share with you.
<3
A wise friend once said, “the best boobs are the ones you can touch.”
Nah, I don’t like my own boobs
I don’t like them either. Unless…
give 'em to me, mine are too little
I wish it were possible to trade boobs. I’m quite fond of mine, but they do get in the way when I’m sleeping sometimes. Imagine if we could have community boobs, where we could trade boobs at will: “Hey Ann, do you still have the party boobs? I’m going shopping for date clothes later so I need them”.
It sounds absurd, but the more I think about it, the more I think “why the hell haven’t I read any cyberpunk fiction that does this?”, because this would totes be as thing.
Sleeping sideways (despite being the most comfy position usually) ironically is harder. Owie!
The best boobs are free. The second-best boobs are cold. Wait, is that beer?
Either that or you are necrophiliac
People are allowed to have their own preferences different from mine, but I’m always thrown off by the number of comments on the internet who insist they don’t care about boob size.
Personally, I’m like the fake straight persona that Captain Holt puts on in Brooklyn 99: “I see a pair of thick, weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window.”
I feel like most people say they don’t care about boob size but really want to say they don’t care about boob size, so long as they are within the “normal” range of “not nearly nothing” and “not a planet yet”
For me, (a bi woman,) it depends on the context. If I’m surreptitiously checking out someone, then yeah, I have preferences. In practice, none of those preferences matter when I’m at motorboating distance from a partner’s boobs. If I think of every set of boobs I have seen in that context, I can legitimately say I have no preference.
I don’t know, I think that by the time it gets to that point, it’s impossible to see the boobs as an abstract, aesthetically pleasing thing. Instead, I see them in the context of the entire person, and that feels infinitely more erotic. At first I thought that maybe it’s a case of all the women I’ve slept with having boobs that fit their frame, but I don’t think that’s the case either. Big boobs on a small frame: Hot. Small boobs on a small frame: Hot. Big boobs on a large frame: Hot. Small boobs on a large frame: Hot. Wonky boobs on a medium frame: Hot.
Reflecting further, I think my mentality might be because some years ago, when I was tripping on 2CB, something clicked in me and I suddenly understood “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”; I realised that there was beauty and ugliness in everything, and I could just choose to see the beauty. It worked wonders for my own body confidence at the time, and I’m realising now that the sentiment has stuck with me deeper than I thought. I reckon that by the time I’m sleeping with someone, I’ve made an active choice to opt into seeing their beauty. If I weren’t able to do that, I probably wouldn’t get to the point of seeing them naked.
Well said. But why do you always find the god damn philosophical life advice in, like, a greentext shitpost comment section?
That is why I look at these greentext posts. The image is just the fuel for the true content; the comments section!
There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.
Sincerely,
Matelt
… so you saying out there be roaming boobs with mighty penises growing out of them??
Eww!
But brb, I’m embarking on an … unrelated expedition of science & new frontiers.
Godpseed on your quest, but the comment was referring to a separate quote of the same hay character when pretending to be straight, referring to the absence of a penis in the place you would would actually expect to see a penis.
Yes, I understood the quote, my reply was just an attempt to derive some random abstract humour from it.
There is also such a thing as too large of a breast.
Look up the largest breast record holder.
That’s too fucking big.
I think that the insistence of “not caring about boob size” is really saying “I like boobies in the typical size and shape range”.
Extremes would probably break this rule, but extremes are just that
I mean I would still try sleeping with someone with problematically huge breasts, just out of curiosity
Purely a scientific endeavor. Indeed.
There’s kinda a song about that.
One person’s too big is another person’s “I don’t mind if they’re bigger”
I guess they have like a size range for me. So I do care, just tend to shy away from really large boobs.
There’s nothing wrong with them, but, idk there’s a certain point where they just look broken.
“Too small” is probably just flat. Admittedly I haven’t actually seen a ciswoman with an actual flat chest, but I’m sure someone is unlucky. And to be honest, I’m not even sure that wouldn’t be a turnoff, unless they looked way younger than they are.
I’ve seen plenty. Go to the beach or lake and you’ll see a variety of sizes, and sometimes the bikini just doesn’t have anything to hold.
I don’t live anywhere near a body of water unfortunately.
But there is a lazy river in a water park that I could just go observing in.
For science, of course!
From my experience, cis women with breasts on the smaller side of sizes generally have more sensitive nipples and areolas. Their breasts give more sexual pleasure for them compared to those with breasts on the other end of the size spectrum.
Of course, this isn’t true for everyone, but it’s something I’ve noticed and that I get more certain about the more women I’m with as it keeps proving to be a good rule to follow.
I definitely don’t put it down as absolute truth, though. I’m certain some other people have experienced the opposite or seen no general correlation.
Women with larger breasts that do get sexual pleasure from them have more often wanted and needed harder and/or more intense play, which makes some sense, IMO. And just to be clear, I’m not saying or think that any of this is better than the other. While I do have my preference, both in size and what kind of play it is, it’s obviously always up to them about what and how. I don’t think I’ve ever seen, in person or online, a cis woman with really big breasts climax from just nipple play, while I’ve seen two in person and many online with smaller breasts who have/do. Maybe it’s, at least partly, because the nerves are concentrated in smaller areas and that the breasts experience less force and handling in some ways? A bit like how it is with circumcision and glans (penis tip) sensitivity for men, again in general and not an absolute.Yeah I don’t have experience with more than one set of boobs and it turns out my ex just really was never into me.
deleted by creator
Large breasts are hypnotic in a way that smaller breasts aren’t, and I don’t deny that I’m attracted to them, but I’m not necessarily more attracted to them even though I am more likely to stare.
I also have a thing for the athletic flat-chested look. I had such a huge crush on my friend who was competitive long-distance runner.
Huh, I tend to feel bad for their mid to lower back in 5 to 10 years.
Why do you wait so long to feel bad for them?
Because I’m still young enough that somebody I’d be likely to date probably would have about that much time before such back problems would crop up… well, assuming they try to do at least a bit of physical activity every other day or so.
I guess if that last part was not the case, then the back problems due to uber booba would occur roughly presently, so, semi-touche on that.
You can’t really tell from looks alone. I went to school with a girl who got a breast reduction at age 16 due to back problems. It didn’t look crazy or anything or maybe she hid it well, but it was just some issue she had that no one knew about or would have guessed.
My old roommate back in the 90s did the same thing. She gave all of us “boys” a before photo before though lol. She was nice.
Her back problems got way better after.
Huh, that seems like a fairly rare occurence that you’d have to get it at age 16, but I do know that absolutely does happen.
… and/or me being from the US and your registered instance being… a Denmark instance?
Ya’ll probably have actual healthcare over there, lol, and maybe such procedures are somewhat more common?
Yes, it was covered by health care. It’s not common that early in life, but I think it makes sense to get it sorted out as soon as possible before it makes the issue worse. I have never thought much about it, but in hindsight I think it must have been hell for her to go through.
I agree, it does make sense to tackle something like that as a young adult / post pubescence teen, a human body generally tends to handle surgery recovery of pretty much any kind when its closer to age 20 than age 40… but the, I guess you’d call them ‘social’ downsides are massive, kids are often brutal and cruel to other kids for really, really stupid reasons.
All other things being equal I’d generally say bigger is better, but size is nowhere near the top of my criteria. That’s what I mean if I’m saying I don’t care about size; maybe that’s what others do too?
I read some study that claimed men had more of a symmetry than size preference, but that‘s just my memory from years ago
That would not surprise me since I often see symmetry listed as a fairly constant criteria for attractiveness in most human features. In practice I’m not sure how dissimilar one breast would have to be from another for me to actually notice but I’ve never seen asymmetric breasts even when my wife has tried to point it out.
Quality over quantity
Yup, three breasts is too many.
Eh, A cups on a Pixar mom are better than the best breasts in the world on a stick figure. They’re just kinda… there? Sure they look nice, but they don’t really summon a force in me.
The obsession about breasts is mostly American thing. Here in Europe it’s all about ass.
I live in Germany and can confidently say that’s absolutely not true. It’s also a weird thing to try and attach to Americans specifically?
Well, I am from Poland, and I don’t know any friend who is overly obsessed about women breasts. But if you look into American media, especially from few decades ago when it was normal to oversexualize women, it’s all about that.
I haven’t been to Germany yet, so I don’t know what’s normal there. But I might just have overgeneralized my observation, yeah.
The bills have greater value because you can carry more of them in less space and the savings in space can be used to pick up other objects.
The coins have greater value because you can put them in a sock and mug people, then get more money
Combine both with gold coins or, even more valuable, rhodium bars.
What about gold-plated latinum?
ACAB: All cup-sizes are beautiful
BITCH: Boobs In Tight Clothes Hypnotize
Size doesn’t matter!
$100 in coins is way more valuable than bills. $100 in pennies is worth about $280 in scrap copper these days
Even though they’re mostly zinc now?
You can sell them to Ea-nasir.
Apparently the calculator i used refers only to pre-1982 pennies. But those are still plentiful and can be found without issue
The Great Philosopher then hands Anon $100 in Monopoly Money.
Anon Replies: “These bills are fake”
The philosopher shrugs: “My analogies aren’t perfect”
Monopoly money
Ah I see, the great philosopher is Eastern European
The farther east you go the more enlightened as well
Is that like anime Nasreddin Hoca with a gay twist that is apparently quite popular on the internet now, or is this something else?
Idk what your talking about
is this like a hideo kojima video game, or is this something else
Ohhh, Im not sure i found it on another lemmy post and felt it kinda fits lol
Well, monopoly money does have value technically, it’s just that it would be a ton of bills
How many monopoly bills would it take for a gas station to fill up my 7 gallon tank?
Depends on how much the owner likes monopoly or wants to start selling monopoly money.
But if you bundled it with the rest of the game, I’d imagine they’d be willing to trade about 5 or 7 bundles. Of course, it has to be the complete bundle, because the monopoly game without the money is valued far less than with the official money
These are my breasts, there are many like them, but these ones are mine
Without me, my breasts are nothing, without my breasts, I am nothing.
Nah, without your breasts, you have value. Don’t let cancer destroy your self-image.
A friend was taking the piss out of NFTs once and I, not knowing what an NFT was at the time, misheard them as saying “non-fungible titties”. We, all of us being very gay, found this hilarious because our experience of seeing breasts had shown us that breasts are indeed non-fungible.
I like smaller because I can fit more of them in my mouth. So far my record is still 1.
How much do you need in your mouth to consider it to be 2?
Because I squeezed my gf’s tiddies together and got both nipples in my mouth.
Might not have had anything more in my mouth, but she certainly didn’t mind 👍
so you would take the coins
I bet i could fit a $100 bill in my mouth. Hell, i could fit two.
I could fit so many coins in my mouth.
Do you have a pair of fuzzy dice where one of the sides reads ‘chubby bunny’?
Hahaha!
“tits is tits.” - Flandish
Fake: Anon is literate/erudite
Gay: Anon has to ask what he is supposed to find attractive in the opposite sex
