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balderdash@lemmy.zip to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 年前

Anon is in the hospital

lemmy.zip

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Anon is in the hospital

lemmy.zip

balderdash@lemmy.zip to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 1 年前
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  • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.

    be me
    balls deep in milf
    guy catches me
    drags me out of bed by my foot
    cuts my dick with a knife
    couldn’t walk for 2 years
    0 yo

    • z500@startrek.website
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      1 年前

      My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll

    • CluckN@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.

  • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    You just call your own mom a milf…?

    • IndescribablySad@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
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      1 年前

      Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.

    • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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      1 年前

      Just for good meassure I’ve searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it’s an acronym. Most definitions just say ‘attractive older woman’.

      • PunnyName@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!

        Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore…

        • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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          1 年前

          No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.

          • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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            1 年前

            Where?

            • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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              1 年前

              In your city.

              • baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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                1 年前

                THOSE ADS WERE REAL!?

                • Ironfist@sh.itjust.works
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                  1 年前

                  well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!

        • nieceandtows@programming.dev
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          1 年前

          I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.

      • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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        1 年前

        Even older part isn’t relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.

        THAT’S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.

        • shastaxc@lemm.ee
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          1 年前

          Yes it is, she’s a mother

          • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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            1 年前

            Nope.

            MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey’s mom. So the theoretical milf can’t be younger than 30.

            • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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              1 年前

              You’re right. American Pie corroborates your findings.

              • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥@lemmy.world
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                1 年前

                Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn’t lost its meaning.

    • ObstreperousCanadian@lemmy.ca
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      1 年前

      His name is Oedipus.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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      1 年前

      Freud thought so

  • slaacaa@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    I bet you also cried. What a cuck

  • deegeese@sopuli.xyz
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    1 年前

    Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?

    • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 年前

      What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.

  • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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    1 年前

    cuts my dick with a knife

    …what?

    • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 年前

      Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English

      • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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        1 年前

        Ah, got it. Thanks.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      1 年前

      In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born

    • PatFusty@lemm.ee
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      1 年前

      First step of being a real man is getting your dick cut clean off. Everybody knows that

      • ivanafterall@kbin.social
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        1 年前

        A real man would never have had the dick to begin with.

        • SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de
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          1 年前

          your body is touching a dick 24/7. super gay

    • Lux (it/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 年前

      Circumcision

  • radix@lemm.ee
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    1 年前

    what is this google ass font

  • dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 年前

    Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.

  • NutWrench@lemmy.ml
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    1 年前

    That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!

  • KingJalopy @lemm.ee
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    1 年前

    Been there

  • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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    1 年前

    Is the MHLF…his own?

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